I had a sudden realization recently, almost an epiphany, in fact. I react differently in the company of people than I do when I am alone. Now this is not such a revelation in that fact, but it is in how I react that stunned me.
You see, when I am alone (we’ill start there) I stop and look around more. I read signs; I appreciate the sites around me. I see more of what is there. I take my time and am more laid back about things. To be honest, none of us really does any of that enough, but this observance is in stark contrast to when I am in the company of others.
I noticed this when I was teaming with others on a new online game. It is a new game and I needed to stop and read things more to learn what was going on and learn the game. However when I teamed up, I was rushing around everywhere, not really seeing the content for what it was, I was trying to get my level up and keep up with “the Joneses”, as it were. I did not have to, in fact had I simply stated that I was taking in the sights, I am sure they would have taken the time with me, instead, I was rushing around and I could feel my tension growing and I was getting more and more frustrated. Gees..
You see, I have this problem; I suffer from the mental delusion that I must serve those around me. It is not demeaning, it is who I am and I do enjoy my time spent in this endeavor, but I am learning that I don’t have to do this “all the time”. In fact most people do not expect it, if they do then that qualifies as “unrealistic expectations” and that is their problem, not mine.
Now I have to admit that most of us enjoy (at least I think ‘most’ of us, eh?) being waited on. I enjoy when someone offers me a ride (at least now that I have a stable ride of my own, but that is another issue), or offers too cook dinner for me. It is just a nice thing to do. Now when that is taken for granted. Say I start expecting them to cook a meal for me every Saturday. Well, that is when it turns ugly and wrong.
Whelp, these are the things I am still learning as I continue to grow up into an adult. I guess now is a good time, eh? After all Peter Pan can’t be your hero all your life, right?